Summer Bucket List- Our Top 50 Things to Try

Summer Bucket List

Last year we tried our first Summer Bucket List. There were things we made a point to do and plan for because of the list. It is easy for me to get caught in the day to day life, doing the same routine, so I wanted to have some ideas to create memories. We didn't do everything on the list, and that is okay with me. This year we have compiled a new list for this summer. Some are repeats from last year. and some include local or vacation spots we are doing this summer.


1. Backyard Camping

2. Tie Dye Shirts

3. Pull a new Park out of a Hat each week

4. Ice Cream for Dinner (Last Day of School)

5. Bounce Houses and Open Gym Time

6. Swim at the Lake

7. Float down the River

8. Neighborhood Water Fight

9. No Chore Day

10. Harry Potter Party with Butterbeer

11. Play Place (We like Carl's Jr)

12. Star Gazing Night with Friends

13. Board Game Day

14. Half Price night at our local Swimming Pool

15. Visit the Zoo

16. Children's Museum (We are doing this one)

17. Make a Treat with each child, individually

18. Make Homemade Ice Cream

19. Go on a Hike

20. Pajama Movie Day

21. Lunch with Dad at Work

22. Roast Marshmallows

23. Farmer's Market

24. Teach the kids how to play Tennis

25. Explore a new area near us

26. Family Bike Ride

27. Sign up for the Library Reading Program

28. Lunch at the Park

29. Catch Fireflies

30. Kids Bowl Free

31. Paint Day (Something messy)

32. Make Homemade Sidewalk Chalk

33. Fishing

34. Go for a Scenic Drive

35. Bike Wash/Car Wash in Swimsuits

36. Sprinklers and Popsicles

37. Family Night on the Trampoline

38. Homemade Pizza- Movie Night

39. Air Show

40. Drive in Movie or Movies at the Park

41. Rollerskating

42. Make Forts and let the Kids sleep in the Living Room

43. Plant a Garden and make something new with the Produce

44. Visit Shoshone Falls

45. Go down the Raft River Water Slide

46. St. Louis Gateway Arch

47. Go to a Hotel with a Water Park (We are staying in this one)

48. Church History Sites

49. Take the Kids to Old Faithful in Yellowstone

50. End of Summer Party with Friends (Popcorn, Cotton Candy, Snow Cones, Sprinklers)

How to Keep Toddlers out of the Christmas Tree

How to Keep Toddlers out of the Christmas Tree

Christmas is such a fun time for me. The tree has always had a certain magic about it when all the other lights are off and the tree is glowing and lighting up the room. Every year after we decorate the tree, we turn off the living room lights and sit and admire the Christmas Tree while drinking Hot Chocolate or Eggnog. 

At Christmas time, about 5 years ago, my 4th child was about 20 months old. Connor was into everything. My mother frequently called him the Tasmanian Devil when she visited. My other children were typical and got into things, but Connor made it his full time job. He ran from one disaster to the next. 

Every year we pick out a live tree from a local hardware store. I remember the day we brought our tree home. I put the kids down for a nap and the house was quiet. I sat looking at the bare tree and thought, "How am I going to keep Connor out of the tree?!" Because the tree has always had a special place in my heart, I can't bear the thought of only decorating the top half of the tree. Blocking it off wouldn't stop him and I didn't want him getting hurt, As I sat and contemplated my dilemma, I had the impression come to my mind, "How would you feel if you were told "NO" all day long?" I stopped short and realized, with a sinking feeling, that he was not feeling much love from me. How could he if most of our interaction was me telling him "no". Tears welled in my eyes and then the thought came to me, "Teach him what he can do". 

When he woke from his nap, I brought him over to the tree and taught him the "1 finger touch" rule. Grabbing wasn't allowed, but he could "1 finger touch" all he wanted. We decorated the tree later that night and we taught him again. We would purposely bring him to the tree and say "Touch" and show him how to touch. 

I was blown away that by giving him permission and teaching him what was acceptable, that he actually did as we taught him. He was Nonverbal at the time, and he still ran around making terrible messes around the house, but he learned. I learned to not underestimate children.

This one rule has done wonders in my house. I teach preschool where the kids have access to the Christmas tree in December. I have taught children that like to grab and collect little treasures they find. I take them to the tree and teach them that they can touch all they want, but not grab. It works so well, the parents start using it as well.

The wonderful thing about the 1 finger touch rule, is this applies to other situations. The other day we were in a store with breakable things all over and no shopping carts to contain my littlest one. I reminded her to one finger touch in the store when she saw things she liked. 

I have taught children that are special needs, or ones that struggle following directions and love getting into messes. Children are teachable if you take the time. Teach them what they can do and they will amaze you. This experience has made me grateful to God, for teaching me how to show love to my children and have more peace in the home. 

Enjoy Every Moment... what a load of crap!

A few months back, my friend and I were talking about some of the bad advice that is given to new mothers. She mentioned that one of the ones she hated the most is when people tell her to enjoy every moment. I had to agree with her. I would even wager that it is a complete impossibility to enjoy every moment of parenthood. Being told to enjoy every moment ends up leaving you feeling like a terrible parent when you aren't enjoying the hard times. You feel even worse when you know some of your friends are infertile and want a baby so bad it hurts, yet you get caught up in a rough moment with your child and lose it. It has left me feeling guilty on many occasions and at the end of the night, once all the kids are sleeping peacefully, I am always wanting a redo. WHY didn't I enjoy every moment of today? My family is the greatest blessing I have so why did I just sit there and glare at them for half an hour when they were overwhelming me?

It's because I am human, and that means I am imperfect.

I've started getting small glimpses how quickly time is slipping away from me. My oldest just started middle school and my youngest is well on her way to 4 years old. The other day I was looking at their baby pictures I have hanging around the house. I stopped and had a small freak out when I realized, IT'S GONE. The baby years are gone from my house, most likely forever. The toddler years are gone. The preschool years are slipping faster than I imagined they would.

Despite all of that, sometimes life is just hard. It was hard trying to get my boys to sleep when they were babies, especially Zack. I don't miss the times I cried from exhaustion and the times he screamed just because I was holding him. I don't miss worrying if Connor would talk and the long process of helping him figure it out. I don't miss Quinn's years of food texture issues and the gagging and complete freak out moments. It was hard even just writing about it! I don't miss the times of worry and fear as we sought answers for Abby's medical questions. I don't miss holding her down to have blood draws and the years she only wanted Dad because of it. I don't miss the years of poopy underwear, Can I say that? I don't miss having to ask for help when our power was shut off.

I could list plenty more, but I think you get the point. I don't enjoy every moment of motherhood. We have to experience the pain in order to feel joy. We have to have hard times with our kids to truly understand that the sweet times are worth treasuring.


Elder Eldred G Smith said, "So it is with us today, we must also have the bitter in order to know the sweet. Sometimes some of us think we have the bitter and not enough of the sweet. This is normal. We all have our trials of life to strengthen us. Each thinks he has the hardest or most severe trials. It may be that they are the most difficult only because they are the hardest or most difficult for you. The diamond is enhanced and made more valuable with polishing. Steel is made harder and more valuable through tempering. So also opposition builds the character of man."   Full Article


I want the hard times to polish me as a mother and as a person.

One thing we did, as a family, to enjoy the moments of our day, was to write them down. At dinner, we each share the high part and low part of our day. At one point, I used to write them down. This has become a treasure for our family to go back and read. When I was writing them down, Connor was talking minimally and Quinn was a year old, so he wasn't talking either. We asked them their high part, and then I wrote what they did. One day Connor would say his high part was "bun bowling" which was a phrase he said frequently that meant "fun bowling". For Quinn, one night I wrote, "He smiled and then stuck his finger in his nose". It was fun to go back and see which friend Abby liked at the time, and to even remember my high parts of the endless days, years ago. One of our treasured entries is when my mother in law ate dinner with us, who has since passed away.

I am setting out a spiral notebook again and we are going to start this again. It doesn't take much of my time, and the little time it does take, is worth the effort for all of us. This is one thing we have done to ENJOY A MOMENT. Take a few minutes each day to remember and enjoy something that happened that day.



What do you do to enjoy the moments in your life?

One Thing We Do Regularly That Makes Our Children Feel Special...

We are a large family and we have a lot of kids that need individual attention. We spend so much time as a large group that there are times I worry about each of the children getting enough attention. It is something I try to be aware of and I do better at certain times and terrible at other times. I know I am not alone in this, even parents of one kid want to make sure their child knows they are loved. 

For me, I feel that nights are a challenge for quality time together. We do homework, practice our instruments, prepare for dinner, do any obligations we have, and then it is already time to get ready for bed. So many nights I am looking at the clock wondering where the time has gone. I wonder, "Did I really sit down with this child and talk to them about their day?"

I went around and asked the kids recently what Mom and Dad do that made them feel special. The answer that most of them had was "My night".  

Quite a few years ago, My mom told me of a great idea she heard from someone at Church. Once a month, on the numerical day the child was born, they have special one on one time with their child. For instance, if their child was born on June 3rd, then the 3rd of every month would be their child's night. I thought this could be a fun idea so we tried it out. 

At the beginning, we would have one parent take them somewhere of their choice. For our budget, it had to be pretty much free. The kids would choose the park, or a place where they could see fish or animals, or something they were interested in. If we (and they) were lucky, we would finish off with an ice cream. We tried having one parent do a month, and the next month would be the other parent. This method never really worked for us. Leaving the house was hard and then what happened when other things came up? We couldn't keep it up so we stopped for a while. 

After feeling like we needed to start it back up for a while, we tried again, but kept it at home instead so we could both do it together with them. For our family, staying home is what worked. 

So far, this is what we have come up with. 

1. Generally speaking, their night will be on the numerical day they were born. We can and do change the date if we have other plans, but we pencil in the changed date so we don't forget. 

2. We put the other kids to bed at 8pm and then the child staying up, gets 1 hour with Mom and Dad, at home (most of the time). 

3. The child gets to chose what we do. Some want to play board games, some want ice cream and a movie, some want to play a game on the Wii, some want to jump on the trampoline outside, or go for a walk around the block. 

4. Something new we started recently is that the kids get to pick the dinner, within reason. When I menu plan, I ask them what they want if their night is in the 2 week period I am planning at the time. Sometimes they request things no one likes, it is too time intensive for the night, someone else asked for it, or it is too expensive. I try to say Yes most of the time, but there are times I say, "Nope, Pick something different". I was worried, at first, that I would get 6 Pizza requests, but they have been good about picking legit dinners. 

5. Their Nights are not Conditional. They can't lose them based on their behavior. There have been times that they had to do a make up chore or get their task finished when their night started, and we helped them, and it dipped into their time. They had less time doing something fun, but they still had that time with us. I normally have no problem with them losing privileges when they need to learn a lesson, but this is one exception I make. Their Night can't get taken away from them. 

We make an effort to spend time with the children on a daily basis, but this has become something really special for our family and for the kids. Even with us having 6 kids, this doesn't take too much from our lives, yet it enhances our relationship with each other and really makes them feel special. They look forward to their night every month. My oldest son writes it on all of his Calendars and my youngest asks frequently if it is her night yet. We haven't skipped their nights for 2 years since we re-changed it. It is that important to them. A lot of our friends, neighbors, and children's teachers get to hear about their "night" because the kids are so excited about it. 

I don't want this to be the next "thing" you feel like you have to do. If you want to, your life will be enriched, if you can't, then find something you can do to spend quality time with your child, and do it regularly. I am a believer in doing things that are manageable. I couldn't keep something up if it was just too much. This is what works for us. Welcome to Lessons From Our Life :)

Helping Children with Texture Issues and with Picky Eating

Well, it's that time again. Dinner time that is. You've spent your time cooking a nice meal for your family, all the while, breaking up fights and dealing with kids that only want to be picked up and held while you are in the kitchen. You finally sit down to enjoy your meal and you look over to see that your kids are staring at their food. They won't even touch it and you see that look in their eye. It's the same look you get almost every night. They hate what you've made.

I'm sure my family isn't the only one in this boat, right? I thought -this- was bad enough. Boy was I wrong! When my 5th son was old enough to start trying solids, he would gag every time we attempted it. I would stop and try again a couple of weeks later, and it all ended up with the same results. I eventually regressed and tried feeding him his milk from a spoon, and he gagged on that as well. I knew then that this was going to take time to overcome.

I am not an expert, but these are the lessons I learned through the process. I hope it can help other parents in the same situation.

Helping Children with Texture Issues and with Picky Eating

The main thing to remember through this, is that things won't change over night. To be successful, it will take a series of baby steps. I tried skipping the baby steps and it never works. It is a night of tears and frustration, and you are back to square one the next day, and then you repeat it all over again. It is important to observe for a while. See if there is a pattern in your child's behavior when it comes to eating. Are they more open for certain foods at a particular time of the day? Do they avoid a similar texture, color, smell? Will they eat those foods in different forms? (For instance a Banana, freshly pealed, vs blended in a smoothie) What are your concerns with them avoiding the food?

Quinn took months to get used to smooth food. He gagged constantly, but we kept trying every day, so he would get used to it. By the time he was a year old, he still couldn't eat a single cheerio. I had to buy a food processor and puree all our dinners so he had something to eat. as time went on, I stopped the food processor early and left a little chunk with it. By the time he was 18 months old, he could finally eat a cheerio without gagging. As time went on (and you can tell how slow of a process this was) his aversion isolated to mostly Fruits and Vegetables. I had to make smoothies in order for him to get anything in him. I eventually got him signed up for food therapy. This is where I learned the baby steps. It changed my way of thinking and we came at it in a different direction. I hope this can help other people as well. Although Quinn is severe, this can help with mild issues as well.

Baby Step #1 Being in the Same Room with the Food
The first step is having your child okay with being in the same room as the food they don't like. We never had this issue. If this is an issue, I would give them warning before pulling it out of the cupboard or the fridge. Then describe the appearance of the food. This will help take the fear notch down.

Baby Step #2 Having the Food on their Plate
This was an issue with us some of the time. I told them they didn't have to eat it, they just had to keep it on their plate. We are taking baby steps here, so if they have major issues, we want them to work through them, instead of them feeling forced into eating it. If you make something, always serve it. They won't eat it at first, and might cry to have it there, but this will introduce the food in a less threatening way. Once they are fine about anything being on their plate, then they get to move to the next step.

Baby Step #3 Touching the Food with a Finger
I was blown away at how scary this was to my son. Who would have thought touching a Strawberry could be so frightening? He was used to having it on his plate, but asking him to touch his food was a big deal for several months. We described the food in detail. We commented on the shape and the color and the feel (before he touched it). Describing it helped him know what to expect. We reminded him he didn't have to eat it, just touch it. I know it sounds crazy to go at such a slow pace (JUST EAT THE DANG FOOD!) but we had years of difficult meals prior to this and nothing ever worked on helping him overcome it. We were at our wits end. That is why we started taking the baby steps.

Baby Step #4 Picking up the Food
I require each step before they can get down from the table. If they are on this step, then they have to pick it up once before they can get down. Maybe you have dessert after dinner, if so, then they have to complete the step they are on, before they can get it. Yes, this was met with tears at first. Explain how it feels before they touch it so they know what to expect. This might backfire if it is slimy, Only do this step for things like apples, carrots, or anything else that you would typically pick up.

Baby Step #4 Smelling the Food
They are finally used to touching it and picking it up, now it is time to move on to the next step. I didn't anticipate this being hard either, but it was hard for Quinn as well. We would describe the appearance and the smell as best as we could. He would touch it, and then I would smell it, and then we would put it up for him to smell it. He didn't want to put it up to his nose, on his own, at first. They might not be sniffing in, but if they are picking it up on their own and putting it up to their nose, Success!

Baby Step #5 Licking the Food
They can either use their hands, or they can use utensils. I had better luck with a fork on this step. They will do a lot of smelling steps before they will open that mouth. Again, describing the taste and texture helps them. If it is a peach I would say "It tastes sweet and a little stringy. It is soft and very juicy. Mmmmm" Then I eat my bite. Keep at it!

Baby Step #6 Putting the Food in their Mouth and then Spitting it back out
This takes convincing. I have them lick quite a bit before they feel safe to put it in. I tell them they can spit it right back out. If they regress and won't lick, you have them smell till they feel safe enough to lick again. We cheer and clap a lot through each baby step. You want them to feel good at the progress they are making. Describe the taste and texture to them! It also helped to have a cup of water. That was his way of taking a break and putting something safe in his mouth. Plus, if he didn't like the taste, it would  wash it down.

Baby Step #7 Put the food in and take one bite, then spit it out
Make sure to relish in each success, no matter how small. If your child is like Quinn, the fact that he just popped an apple in his mouth on his own is HUGE! Sure he spit it right back out and maybe gagged a little, but really, it took so long to just get to that one point! And if you don't have these problems, maybe you will appreciate your dinner time a little more. It helped me with my other kids for sure. I was more patient with them and their pickiness. After all, I am a recovering picky eater myself. You will gradually increase the amount of bites as they get used to this step. Think of it as Baby Step #7a, #7b, #7c, ect. Just to clarify, My son was eating other food pretty good. I pushed this because I think eating Vegetables and Fruit is pretty important. He was not eating ANY fruits or Vegetables. If he only had an aversion to a few of them, I might not have bothered with it. You can tell he had issues since he first started eating solids, and each thing took time to get him used to it. Since we started the food therapy, I tried this with my other kids, who were typical but were picky. This helped them as well. Your child doesn't have to be severe in order to benefit from this.

Baby Step #8 Swallow
After getting them to take so many bites, the swallow will eventually happen. WOO! Cheer and clap! It is finally paying off! Some other ideas, are to offer several foods that they DO like on their plate. They will always have a choice of something they like, but you only give them a small amount. When they are done and they want more, that's when you get to try with the food they don't like. Let them choose whether it is on a spoon or fork. When they first start, you can hold the silverware for them, but you want them to eventually take over so they are feeding themselves. I like to get out 2 forks and put a minuscule amount on one and an overwhelmingly large piece on the other fork and then let them choose which piece they want to eat. That always makes them feel better about the bite they are getting. I might sound like a broken record, but you really want to describe the food, even if they have seen it 100 times. If they are having a hard time, describe the way it feels and tastes in a positive way and model the behavior for them. These methods take some convincing, so kids that are young and can't be negotiated with would remain at an earlier stage until they understand and want to do this. You don't want to force it, or it will backfire.

Make meal times fun. Talk and laugh, and engage them as you interact as a family. Experiment and play around with what works and what doesn't. Just have your end goal in sight. It's not so much about getting them to take a bite while feeling frustrated the whole time, but HELPING them enjoy it. It will pay off in the long run!

Helping Our Children Through Their Struggles

Imported from our family blog
January 27, 2009

Unexpected Help

"We were invited over to a families house for Dinner on Sunday. We are going to start trading off every month and they did the first month. I had to ask about some ingredients for Abby's diet. Mark, the dad, asked me a few questions about her health and then told me to remind him before we left so that we could get a number for a nutritionist he knew. This is exactly what I have been needing. I have been going online myself and looking for new ways to get her nutrients that she has been missing out on. I am not an expert at all and have been trying to figure things out myself because what we offer that she can eat, she wont eat. I am hoping the nutritionist can help us some more.

Later on during the night, it came up about Zack's Autism and he was asking me some of the signs Zack shows because Zack has been doing good with communicating to strangers lately. He is a speech therapist for Early Intervention. We started talking about some of the issues we have with Zack, the ones I have mentioned a little on here. With Zack needing us to say things or he will have a full blown tantrum. Every time we drive by Zack's school he shouts and shouts "There's my school, There's my school." If you don't respond in a way he wants, he will lose it. This happened the other night. I kept telling him "Zack we hear you" because I sometimes get worried about these rituals that get created so quickly and so easily. You don't even know saying a certain phrase to him one time will suddenly become life or death to him if you don't say it from here on out. I didn't want to say what he wanted to hear ("Yeah, we see your school Zack") because I wanted to start breaking this new routine. He lost it and was still freaking out at home for quite some time. I brought this up to Mark and other instances like with him needing the fan on, or the garage light turned off(when it is automatic), his dog re-positioned, ect. For the first time since we have started this path with Zack, I got some great ideas and direction on how to help Zack. He explained that instead of jumping to plan B (Saying a completely new phrase when we pass by his school) we start with one word, something that Zack can handle. Take a word off, add a word, pause for a second before we respond, ect. Constantly change it up so he knows it is okay to say different things yet do it in a way that is gradual and tailored to him. I told him about the dog and he seemed a little baffled and said give me a minute. He started showing Abby how to play a game and in maybe 3 minutes he gave me the best advice. Instead of using words, which is what Zack will cry for hours for, we silently take his hand and move the dog, and the next time we just put our hand on his and see if he does it himself. He is taught non-verbally that he can do these things himself when I was using words to have him do it himself. When I say these solutions, they seem so straightforward but we got up to a point and then we couldn't go forward. He said it is hard to break the verbal routines.

We went for dinner and when we left I had something so unexpected. An answer to prayers. Someone that might be able to help me with some of Abby's minor problems, and some new, very inspired ideas, to help us with Zack's problems. The Lord works in mysterious ways."

You never know when you are going to help someone by giving them sound advice. This was life changing for our family. Changing up the routines for Zack eventually lead to eliminating them. It is definitely not an overnight process. It took months and years to get to where we are now. The first time we met Zack's Autistic Teacher, when he was going into the program, he commented that he could tell I don't parent Zack like he is Autistic. He said a lot of parents make excuses and allow behaviors because their child has been labeled "Autistic" or has been diagnosed somewhere on the spectrum. Within 5 minutes, he could tell a difference? Zack (as you can read above) had issues, years of issues, that were extreme for kids his age. I was shocked that the teacher even picked up on these things so quick. After him explaining, I was more shocked at the idea of not pushing Zack to be better or to grow and overcome these things. 

I look at all 6 of my kids and see that each child is unique. They have similarities and some are a lot like me or like Kevin, but every one of them has had (or still has) issues that we have had to work through. I am baffled at the idea that I wouldn't make an effort for one of my kids just because they had a good reason for their behavior. Just because the behavior is to be expected, doesn't mean it is okay. It also doesn't mean that it will never get better or they will never overcome this. We are living proof that it does get better and they can get past this.

 Make sure to get help from professionals, they are trained to help come up with solutions that will help you. Seek answers from the Lord, as he knows our kids the best. Answers might come as a thought, or someone might say exactly what you needed to hear. My motto is :NEVER GIVE UP. Whatever the problem, never stop trying. Do the hard work it takes to help your children grow and overcome their struggles. 

The day I encouraged violence...

We had something happen the other week. I noticed my oldest daughter, who is in 5th grade, had a bandaid on her hand. I asked her what happened and she proceeded to tell me that a boy had tried pulling her hair and as she ran from him, he grabbed her and scratched her hand and made her bleed. I asked her what she did about it. She let me know that she told him multiple times to stop and leave her alone and after she started bleeding, she went to a teacher. She did all the proper things that I have taught her yet it left me feeling like she was still vulnerable. Her words did not stop it or protect her. My first thought in hearing this was that he must have a crush on her.

After I thought more, I couldn't help but focus on her body being violated against her will. We've spent her whole life teaching her to resolve issues with talking and not hurting.

I finally renounced that.

I told her that if someone is coming after you to hurt you and you have told them to stop, she now has my permission to hit them.

There I said it.

I encouraged violence. I don't want to raise a bully or someone who has to resort to pain or violence to resolve issues, but knowing she bled over this, I finally broke some, thinking of a boy coming after her in high school and her not knowing what to do. Would hitting him stop him? Probably not but she won't be as easy of a prey and she will feel more passionately about defending herself.

The next day he charged her to ram her and she stepped aside and swung her lunch pail at him while shouting, "Leave me alone!"

I found out he is in her after school violin class and she told me that she wanted me to talk to him. After violin was over I introduced myself and nicely told him that Emma's father and I are very unhappy to hear he hurt her and made her bleed. I asked him to stop when Emma tells him to and to respect her body.

We haven't had a problem since.

I felt so fueled by reading about the rates of sexual assault going up as well as sex trafficking becoming so prevalent. This all happened that week. We've got to protect our kids, even if that means getting a little physical sometimes.

A little piece of Heaven

"I never did mention that Abby had her finger poked. When you constantly are bleeding you can become anemic so our Doctor wanted her to be checked to make sure everything was fine. (Iron levels are good) She, was obviously, terrified. She cried, "No owies, no owies." After everything was done I decided we needed a park diversion.

I have found this park that is nearly perfect for me. When Connor was first born I was overwhelmed by the fact that I could not take my kids to the park alone. There were too many of them and not enough of me. All of the parks I had been to were too open, had easy access to roads and had a lot of people. I was never able to relax that if I turned my attention to one of the kids for a moment, one of the other ones could be taken. I know I am paranoid, but hey, I live in Vegas. Kidnappings are a reality here.

By chance, a little while ago I found a quiet, secluded park. It is in the back of a Realty Office and you have to walk down a long path to get to the park. Most of the time we are alone, but sometimes there is one other child there for a little while. Although my kids could use more interaction, their safety and my peace is more important when I am alone.

Today I sat on the Picnic Bench and watched and listened to the kids playing with each other. Connor was tired but happy, next to me. The older 3 decided to run down a grassy hill right next to the play equipment. I pushed Connor closer so I could see them over the hill. Emma had taken her shoes off and was running in the grass barefoot. Zack and Abby were holding hands and running up the hill. I locked the brakes on the stroller and stepped in the grass and took off my flip flops. The grass was wet and cool on my feet.

Emma beckoned to me to run with her. I was hesitant. I was in between the older kids and Connor. I was reluctant to leave Connor up there alone. After a few minutes I felt Connor would be fine if I ran around with the older kids for a little. I held Emma's hand and ran down the grassy hill, barefoot, with my beautiful Daughter. I was instantly filled with so much joy. The weather was perfect. It was sunny yet cool with a bright blue sky. I was running with my kids enjoying a wonderful day with the feel of cool, soft grass under my feet.

It felt so much like a piece of Heaven. You don't get them often and they don't last too long, but oh are they so sweet. I went to check on Connor and he was peacefully sleeping. I had so much fun watching Abby say "follow me Zack" and run here and there.

Of course all good things must come to an end. Mine ended when some park maintenance workers drove up on the path and Emma shrieked. I felt uneasy and was quick to leave, not that I was in danger, but the feeling was so drastic it was just time to go. As we packed up I think 3 families were headed down.

It was one of those moments I want to remember when I am old and gray."

Our Autism Journey, just the beginning..

These posts are taken from my family blog from 2008. It describes our journey with our son Zack. 

I just thought his constant lining things up was unique. I didn't think anything more of it. 

Zack was staring off so I told him to look at the cookies. Ha Ha, he sure did.

Zack Lined up all of his letters.

"There are some months when we are just constantly going to the Doctors. Today we went to see a Neurologist for Zack. I will post a video below of Zack "Bumbling". It is such a weird thing. I have never seen any other kids do it. I always wondered if he was just being weird or if I should be concerned, so I mentioned it to my old Pediatrician. Now that our insurance has changed we started a new Pediatrician for shots, so I mentioned his Bumbling to them also. She sent a referral over to the Neurologist to see if he has a Tic and that is why he is doing these weird movements. The Specialist asked tons of questions and had him do several physical things. When he was done with his evaluation he said that he does think he has a Moderate Tick as well as very mild symptoms of autism. I had been wondering about Autism (very mild Autism) because he has some symptoms of that. We now take him to have Genetics testing done where they pair up the Chromosomes and see if anything is going on there, and we also are going to see if he can be put in the Early Childhood Programs through the School District. They would cover the Speech Therapy as well, so that is nice."

"Today was Zack's speech assessment for Child Find. The guy took Zack back for about 45 minutes. When he came back to ask me some questions, he said "Zack has me in a quandary." He explained that he has been doing this for 14 years now. If a child is Autistic it shouts to him and is a lot easier to pick out. He explained that Zack would kind of "blip" oh there is Autism, then it would go away, "blip" there it is again, oh it is gone, "blip" it's back. He said that Autism is a heavy label so he wants to have someone come to the house and observe him more before they "label" him as autistic (Which they have to do to get services for the Autism). I told him that the Neurologist specified as well, "Zack has signs of mild Autism and a moderate tic". He also agreed that Zack had some interesting Tics he has never seen before. Zack is unique, what can I say? He said he will definitely be getting speech services. He might have Developmental Delay or Autism or both, and might just get the whole shabang with their services. Either way, I think we can expect him to start school very soon. They will have a final meeting after the home visit, so I will let you know how it goes."



"Today was Zack's in home assessment as well as his Neurology appointment. We had 3 ladies come out today. One was doing the interaction and the other two were taking notes. It was so obvious what he could do and what he couldn't do. Sometimes they would smile and look at each other, and other times they would scribble in their notebooks when he was having a difficulty with things. We have the final meeting on the 27th where they go over everything and we come up with a plan for him.

The blood work we did earlier showed that Zack doesn't have a genetic form of Tourettes, so that is good. He can have Tics but Tourettes is more severe. I told him about Kevin and he said he definitely has a Tic as well. Who would have thought. 

You know the most frustrating thing with this whole experience (so far, because we are just beginning) is not the obvious, but the amazing resistance in the family at the idea of something being "wrong" with one of the kids. Sometimes I feel completely alone in dealing with this. I have seen red flags and done a lot of research. I have worked with hundreds of kids and even worked in special education rooms. I have taken classes for Early Childhood and Special Education and I know the importance of getting them into the programs early. I just never expected to be the only one(except Kali) in my family, with extended family included, that thinks there is something off, or wants to acknowledge it. For some reason, I thought we would all be on the same page but I have spent hours defending my instincts and research. I get lectured on "he is just a boy" "he will grow out of it" "I was like that as a kid" "everyone is so quick to slap a label these days" "I have seen one autistic kids and Zack is fine". Since I started the process of getting him help, I deal with it alone. When I am with the professionals I finally get some companionship in my quest to help Zack. It has been nice (like today) to have everyone working with him seeing the same red flags as I am, and acknowledging them. Today I don't feel alone because I had 4 people(3 from the school district and the Neurologist) that are ready to give Zack the help he needs.

Since I have explained my situation to family about them being nervous that Zack is going to get a "label" and think that everyone is hasty to give them out. I might as well as explain my experience here as well. Zack has been observed for over 5 hours by 7 different people. They drove out to our house(which is not something they do often) and observed him in his natural environment. I have been questioned about everything for over 3 hours in addition to his observation. I have had a verygood experience working with the School District so far. They are very thurough. But the most important thing, most people forget, I am with him almost 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, and I have been with him for 4 years now. I know my son."

This is how Zack likes to look at things.
He puts his hands in a Triangle and then crashes into Abby's head.

"Yesterday was Zack's final meeting with Child Find. I have this huge packet of his Evaluation and his goals for the year. They don't diagnose medically but see if they meet the Educational Requirements. Because they don't diagnose, they say he is very likely of being Autistic. They want him to start next week in an all day program. Before going in Kevin and I were against the full day program. He has never been away from me and still takes naps. I feel comfortable with it now. We all want Zack in a normal Kindergarten so we are going to get him a lot of services this year. Hopefully next year we can work down to the part time program and the following year he will be ready for Kindergarten.

Kevin and I are nervous of him adjusting. Zack had a play date last week for 2 hours and a Halloween Party for 2 hours and he did pretty good at them. Emma was also with him though. When we were in St. George he had a hard time going to a new Sunbeam's class. He let me leave the last 5 minutes. Zack takes a while to adjust to new things. We only have one car, which is the real problem. They do offer a bus to come and pick him up from the house but I don't think Zack is going to do well with that at first.

He starts next Wednesday and I am very anxious. I don't leave my children with people I don't know and now I am going to have to. I called his Teacher today so I can meet with him before he starts. He hasn't called me back yet. I am going to talk to him about a transition period so we can start taking him for a few hours until he is used to it. We'll see how it goes."

"Last Saturday we went and picked out our Christmas Tree. We had a good time until Zack started freaking out about a coat. It has been a while since we have had a scene in public. Zack has regressed or something since he started school. I have a few theories but his tantrums are bad. Sometimes when he goes on his rampages it is like the equivalent of the other 3 children combined. He takes so much energy out of you."

Zachary is now 10 years old and in my opinion, no longer Autistic. Oh the journey we have come!

Church Time

August 11, 2008

"I wanted a Picture to describe my Sunday, but it seems that I can't find one. Look at those kids paying attention and being all good. No wonder it is a drawing. Well, at least it isn't a reality for me. Zack is really big into quoting movies. We watched our newest Home Videos Sunday Morning. When we got to church Zack was constantly quoting what was on the home video. "Abby take a picture." "Zack say hi. Zack say hi." "Abby, put that back." "Zack do you want to hold Connor." He would repeat it over and over and over. When it was time for the sacrament I kept telling him to be quiet and Emma would lean over and put her hand on his mouth, but he wouldn't stop. Abby was also having a fit. She was on the ground and was trying to lay on Zack's shoes. Zack moved his feet and her head fell on the ground and she started screaming so loud. I was closest to the wall, and Kevin had Connor. I scooped her up and there were so many feet in the way, I had no space at all. I managed to make it past the kids feet (all the while trying to get her out ASAP) but I totally landed on Kevin's feet and I had no where else to go so I had to put all my weight and Abby's on his poor feet. He was sort of chuckling and saying OW so I couldn't help but laugh, silently thankfully. I was wondering what people were thinking. My child obviously was hurt and crying and I was laughing. When I walked into the foyer I could tell I was disturbing them (sigh, that is what the foyer is for, right?) so we just walked outside. When we finally got back in and Zack was still quoting the movies. I think people make mental notes not to sit in front of us. They can hear everything going on and although I always try to be on top of them banging into the bench they always manage to do it."

6 years later and it is still the same-ish. 

Kids being Kids

Mischievousness

July 25, 2008

Abby and Peanut Butter

May 29, 2008

Happy Birthday to me

Emma had fun during her nap

During the day Emma decided to be very mischievous when she was supposed to be taking a nap. I went in to do something and this is what I found...

Then when she woke up I saw that she had given herself a hair cut. Someone had put scissors in one of the gift bags and I didn't put them away. When I asked her about it she crossed her arms and scowled and said "Well, my hair was too long." Oooh that attitude! Every so often she decides she wants to give herself bangs and gets into the scissors. She did a pretty good job, I haven't "fixed" them either.

Weekend to myself Reflection

April 6, 2008

"I am expecting Connor in about 2 weeks and after Abby's sickness and Zack's increase in tantrums, I told Kevin that I needed a vacation before the baby comes. He made plans to take the kids up to my parent's house in St. George on Friday night after work. I decided to use the time to get some extra rest and to get some deeper cleaning out of the way. I also went to the movies which doesn't happen often. It was a great vacation for two reasons. First because I could relax and didn't have to deal with tantrums but also because it reminds you of what is important in life. I would rather have tantrums and noise and the mess than to live without my family. It was so much fun to go out and greet them all and to hear all the kids shouting "Mommy" even though the car doors were shut."

Sometimes it's hard being a Mom

Imported from our family blog

February 4, 2008

"Tonight Emma and I were making a picture together with her stickers. Every Tuesday is Show and Tell at her Preschool, so I asked her if she wanted to bring her stickers and give some to everyone at the preschool. She said, "eh, no, they just give it back to me." I asked her what she was talking about and she told me of a time a while ago that she made a picture for her friend and she gave it back to Emma because she didn't want it. Emma said that it hurt her feelings. We recently had the preschool here and it broke my heart to watch. Emma would try and talk to these two girls and they ignored her completely. They wouldn't look at her no matter what she said. The entire time they were here they acted as if Emma didn't exist and I could see it effecting her. She has other friends but things seem to be getting bad at preschool with a few girls treating her bad. It is just so hard to watch our kids suffer and I know there will be many more hard times to come."

This breaks my heart reading. Emma is now 11 years old and has many moments where she enjoys having friends and a few times when she is left out and the kids move away from her. I appreciate being able to work on this in my preschool. Almost all of the kids that have come need at least a little social teaching or help. Sometimes it is the very same thing Emma dealt with. I think we all need to teach children, other than our own, how to be nice. I think the kids were a lot better off when the community helped raise the kids, vs now when everyone is too nervous of offending their friend. 

The hard days will pass

Imported from our family blog

December 20, 2007

"Yesterday was just one of those days where the kids seem to get into everything. I had bought a box of brownies from the store, the previous night and made them. In the morning Emma was excited when she saw the pan because she knew I had made brownies. While I was upstairs, Emma and Zack decided to take advantage of the opportunity and dig into the brownies. I caught them pretty early before they did too much damage. They both got in trouble and I thought that would be enough. Then about an hour later it happened again while I was on the phone with my mom. We really need a new cordless because we only get about 10 minutes on a fully charged phone. While I was up stairs on the corded phone, Emma broke into the brownies again and ate almost all of them. Shortly after it was time for bed so I put them down for a nap. Emma sleeps in my room for naps because Abby gets too excited if Emma is in the room during the day. While Emma was supposed to be sleeping, she decided to get my new soap and rub it all over my bed and pillow. I need a room with nothing more than a bed in it cause she loves to find something to get into."

I don't even remember this happening. I am sure I was freaking out about the bedspread at the time. I was frazzled and prone to over reacting. (I still am, ha!) Such a simple fix! Throw it in the wash! These hard days pass, and they pass quickly. 

That was fun...ish

I recently purchased, and have been reading a parenting book. So far it would appear that I am making a lot of mistakes. That's not really a surprise. They really seem to impress that children should be able to choose whether they wear a coat or not. The parent should not tell them to get it on, but rather give them the choice and make them learn the hard way.

Today was one of those days. The kids didn't have school. I don't really know why, record day or some such. For once I got the kids to actually do a chore without it taking hours and much irritation and playing and more mess making. I had a box of cookies and if I don't pass them out quick, I will be the one to eat them all. I decided to have a little contest and reward the 1-3rd place winners with cookies. That really motivated them. In a short amount of time they were all done and we were ready for the next promised activity. Going to the school playground to ride bikes and play. Our neighbors informed us they wouldn't be coming despite our request because of the weather. It's cool, we can't be bothered by a little bad weather.

I asked my son and daughter to change their shorts to pants so they wouldn't be cold. As per every day fashion, they opened the front door and professed that it wasn't cold at all. I managed to get them in their coats and we stepped out to head out. It was about 40 degrees outside and was starting to rain. I grabbed my library book and an umbrella to make sure it didn't get wet. I looked at my son and thought to send him to the bathroom but then remembered my new parenting book. It said that we shouldn't tell our kids to go to the bathroom before leaving for an outing, otherwise they will never learn to think for themselves. I don't want my kids to be mindless so I let the thought pass and we headed out.

My son fussed and ended up dragging the car behind him while the rest were already out of sight. I spotted a nice tree in the distance and set up my chair and umbrella and got out my book. ~How did the water bottle open and spill all over our gloves??~ Whatever. I get 2 paragraphs into the book and my son, the one I had just looked at before leaving, informs me that he now has to go to the bathroom................................... (that's me looking at him with nothing to say). I am not going back home and I am half tempted to have him pee on a tree. I  have a great idea though. Our friend lives right across the street and my oldest wanted to go over and invite them to join us so I send them together so he can pee at her house. She's cool with it. 3 minutes after they are gone, the next son comes over and lets me know he needs to go to the bathroom as well. !!!!!   !!!!! Are you kidding me?

By the time the first child gets back, the two that are wearing shorts are complaining they are cold.

I have a system. I have 6 kids, I need a system. We live off of a system. There is no point stopping for 6 bathroom breaks while out. I always have them go before leaving the house. I decided to take that book's advice so my kids can think for themselves and I honestly don't think they learned a dang thing. I did though. I am sticking with my ways.

After them running around the track I decided we should just give up and head home. A warm house and a movie sounds a lot more appealing anyway. My 2 year old runs off and the oldest gets stuck getting her Plasma Car. I thought she would just pick it up but I turn around and she is sitting all squished and trying to catch up while laughing at herself. It made me laugh too. It made the whole trip worth it.

I decided today, that there are some days, Momma just knows best.